Top Takeaways from How do we talk about suicide?

BBC Scotland presenter Amy Irons chaired an evening that set out to talk plainly about a subject most of us tiptoe around. Andy Airey MBE of 3 Dads Walking, broadcaster Roman Kemp, Donelle Lawrence of The Brave Project, suicide researcher Professor Rory O’Connor and campaigner Ellie Palma-Cass brought bereavement, lived experience, community work and three decades of research to the same table. They were unusually direct about what helps and what does not.

Top Takeaways

It can happen to anyone
“Suicide was something that happened to other people… until it blew up in our own family.”
Andy Airey MBE

“It completely changed my view of what it looks like. There is no look to this.”
Roman Kemp

“It can be anybody.”
Ellie Palma-Cass

The scale of it
“This isn’t a niche thing we’re talking about. This is the biggest killer of men under 50.”
Roman Kemp

Why conversation matters
“We really need to create more safe spaces for conversations around suicide to be had.”
Donelle Lawrence

“Every conversation can save a life.”
Donelle Lawrence

“We need to talk to people who haven’t thought about it.”
Andy Airey MBE

Talking is not enough on its own
“Talking’s just the first step. We have a moral and ethical imperative to ensure there are services to help.”
Professor Rory O’Connor

“We need to support and protect people who are vulnerable.”
Professor Rory O’Connor

Getting help to people
“Everybody needs to be working together in suicide prevention.”
Ellie Palma-Cass

“We should be taking the support to where people are.”
Amy Irons

Further Reading

• When It Is Darkest: Why People Die by Suicide and What We Can Do to Prevent It, Rory O’Connor (Vermilion, 2021). Link
• Three Dads Walking: 300 Miles of Hope, Andy Airey, Mike Palmer and Tim Owen (Little, Brown, 2023). Link
• Are You Really OK?, Roman Kemp (Mirror Books, 2022). Link
• Reasons to Stay Alive, Matt Haig (Canongate, 2015). Link
• Grief Works: Stories of Life, Death and Surviving, Julia Samuel (Penguin Life, 2017). Link

Further Listening and Watching

• What If with Amy Irons, Suicide Prevention Scotland podcast. Link
• Roman Kemp: Our Silent Emergency, BBC Three, 2021, BBC iPlayer. Link
• Roman Kemp: The Fight for Young Lives, BBC Three, 2023, BBC iPlayer. Link
• Griefcast with Cariad Lloyd, podcast, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Link
• The Proper Mental Podcast: 3 Dads Walking, podcast episode. Link

Further Help

• Samaritans, call 116 123, free, 24 hours a day, or email [email protected]. Link
• CALM, Campaign Against Living Miserably, 0800 58 58 58 and webchat, 5pm to midnight daily. Link
• ANDYSMANCLUB, free weekly men’s talking groups, Mondays 7pm, including several in Leeds. Link
• Leeds Suicide Bereavement Service, run by Leeds Mind for anyone in Leeds bereaved by suicide. Link
• 3 Dads Walking, campaign and resources. Link
• The Brave Project, suicide prevention and wellbeing workshops for Black, Asian and minority ethnic young men. Link
• EPiC HOPE, Ellie Palma-Cass’s Greater Manchester suicide prevention organisation. Link