Top Takeaways from “Where have all the good men gone?”

Masculinity has never been more hotly debated, with social media and pop culture splitting opinion—from toxic traits to the rise of positive and healthy male role models. So, what does it really mean to be a young man today? Is strength about giving protection or showing vulnerability?

Our panel of experts on men and masculinity enjoyed a wide-ranging discussion on whether there’s a crisis in 50% of the population.

Top Takeaways

To an engaged audience, our panel discussed digital influencers, misogyny, and what it means to be a good man in the modern world.

“The phrase we hear over and over again is Toxic Masculinity. We think about that as something men do to other people, but rarely about the effect it has on the man himself.” – Caitlin Moran (Panel host)

“Is masculinity in crisis? It always has been to some extent. Can we make it better? Yes we can.” – Dr Stephen Whitehead

“We crave men to speak, but as a society we ruthlessly tell them to be silent. When you’re young, you’re told you should not show emotion. Men are allowed to be angry, but nothing else.” – Dr Alex George

“There’s degrees of hopelessness, but the majority of boys are being influenced digitally. They’re being fed stuff online, and not always well equipped to understand what they’re seeing.” – Karl Lokko

“Boys that I speak to don’t know what it means to be a man. They’re turning to the online world. They feel lost.” – Richard Pomfrett

Books / Essays / Reports

• Of Boys and Men by Richard Reeves A UK-based exploration of what’s happening with boys and men in education, work, identity, and mental health in modern Britain.
  

• Men at the Margins: A Decade of Men’s Lives by Lynne Friedli, Sadie Boniface, and Helen Banks A UK report exploring the lives of men in vulnerable and disadvantaged positions—touching on job precarity, mental health, substance use, and poverty.
  

• Why Men Want Sex by Allan Pease & Barbara Pease (UK edition)
  (More light / popular) A provocative look at men’s sexuality, its expectations, and misunderstandings. Use with caution to spark discussion rather than as authoritative.

Podcasts & Audio (UK-based or with strong UK focus)

• “Now and Men” (University of Durham / UK)
  A monthly podcast tackling masculinity, gender equality, violence, and the social expectations placed on men and boys in the UK.
  

• “Men Up / Man Down” – Mankindproject UK (UK voices)
  This episode, “Mankindproject UK — complexity of masculinity,” features an East London perspective.
  

• “Masculinities & Social Change” (MMASC, UK network)
  A podcast series aggregating conversations with UK and international practitioners and researchers on changing masculine norms
  

• Catch22 Minutes, S6E8 “Masculinity” (UK / justice system lens)
  Focuses on how masculinity relates to the criminal justice system, lived experience, and creating safe spaces for men.

Documentaries / TV / Shows (

• Grayson Perry: All Man
  A British TV miniseries in which Perry explores different facets of masculinity in the UK (the “Hard Man,” “Top Man,” “Rational Man”)
  

• Danny Dyer: How to Be a Man (Channel 4, UK)
  A recent UK documentary where Danny Dyer travels the country meeting men, reflecting on identity, gender norms, and male mental health
  

• The Mask You Live In UK releases / screenings
  Though originally American, this film about cultural pressures on masculinity is often screened or discussed in UK universities / male mental health forums; pairing it with local perspectives helps.