Top Takeaways from “Why do we need to talk about domestic abuse?”

Domestic abuse is a now a national emergency, with 1 in 5 adults experiencing domestic abuse in their lifetime. This taboo subject is still shrouded in shame, with victims suffering in silence for fear of speaking out. How do we give a voice to those trapped in this devastating multi-generational cycle while empowering others to help?

Top Takeaways

The Why Do We Need to Talk About Domestic Abuse panel at the Leeds International Festival of Ideas was a powerful, emotional discussion that confronted the silence surrounding abuse. Our experts shared professional insight and personal experience with honesty and compassion.

Together, they explored how society can better support victims, challenge stigma, and recognise abuse in all its forms.

“It’s just true that as a society were haven’t had a shared understanding of what domestic abuse is. There’s a lot we’ve done in the past 50 years. But It took until the Domestic Abuse Act of 1991 to even give us a definition.”- Dame Nicole Jacobs

“I want to create a world where my children can spot the signs of domestic abuse early. In order for that to happen, we need to talk more about it.” – Andrew Pain

“When I hear people in the media asking domestic abuse victims ‘why didn’t you just leave?’ I think, oh my God, please educate yourself!” – Victoria Derbyshire

“Everyone in this room will know someone who’s gone through or is going through domestic abuse. But there is still so much shame and stigma in talking about it. We have to crack that stigma.” – Natasha Rattu

“We need to keep domestic abuse in everyone’s minds. Not enough is done to support victims and to hold perpetrators to account.” – Rachel Williams

Further Reading 

• Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft\ A classic exploration of the mindset behind abusive behavior, helping readers understand the why, not just the what.
  

• No Visible Bruises: What We Don’t Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us by Rachel Louise Snyder – Deep, investigative work on the hidden dynamics, statistics, and personal stories behind domestic violence.
  

• “Abuse Is a Pattern” (Time) — on criminalising coercive control
  A powerful article explaining how non-physical abuse is increasingly recognised in law, and why that matters.

Related Podcasts / Episodes 

• “The Power of Speaking Up” (The Hotline)
  A survivor’s reflection on the act and consequences of speaking out.

• “10 Tips to Have an Informed Conversation about Domestic Abuse” (NNEDV)
  A practical, compassionate guide for discussing abuse with survivors in a supportive way

• “Why family violence is a ‘men’s issue’” (Jackson Katz talk / interviews)
  Focuses on shifting discourse: holding abusers accountable and involving men in prevention.

Documentaries / Films / Media

• We Need to Talk about Dad (2011, Channel 4 Cutting Edge)
  A documentary exploring domestic violence, mental health, and family dynamics.
• My Wife, My Abuser (Netflix) A look at the dynamics that make people stay in abusive relationships, and what it takes to leave.

Action & Support: Helplines, Organisations & Local Resources

Because this topic is sensitive and potentially triggering, it’s vital to provide actionable support. Here are local and national contacts and ideas for civic engagement.

Local & National Helplines & Organisations (UK / Leeds)