From Viewer to Star: How I Found Myself on One of Channel 4’s Most Popular Reality Shows
I’ve always been a huge fan of reality TV, but never in a million years did I think I’d get the chance to be part of one of Channel 4’s biggest shows. So, how did it all begin? Like so many others, I was watching the Australian version of the show back in 2021. During the end credits, an advert kept popping up inviting viewers to apply for the new UK series. I thought to myself, “Why not?” After a string of failed relationships, why not let the experts find me the perfect man?
My journey started in February 2021, on a Thursday afternoon, when I submitted my online application. Within hours, I received a call from one of the producers. Somehow, deep down, I knew this was going to happen! Not only would I be marrying a stranger, but I’d also be representing the LGBTQ+ community in the show’s first same-sex pairing.
Nothing can truly prepare you for what you’re about to experience. When you sign up, you’re essentially handing over your life to the producers for the next three months. While you control how you behave during the experience, you have no control over anyone else or what makes it into the final edit. One question I get asked all the time is: “How did you feel when you turned around at the altar, and was it a genuine moment? Had you seen your future husband before?” The answer is: it was 100% genuine. The entire wedding is orchestrated like a military operation to ensure you have no contact with or knowledge of your future spouse before that pivotal moment.
Looking back, I remember seeing him for the first time and being overwhelmed with emotion. I also thought, “Wow, he’s a lot younger than me.” For some reason, I had expected someone around my age or older. But then it clicked—this is reality TV! Of course, they were going to throw in some curveballs for drama. We had an instant connection, but the age gap was always going to be a challenge.
One of the key things on my “must-have” list was that my future partner shared my desire to become a dad. And he did. During our honeymoon, we filmed a deeply emotional conversation after a cave-diving adventure, where we opened up about our dreams of becoming parents one day. Sadly, that scene never made it to the final edit. I was really disappointed it didn’t air, and to this day, I haven’t seen the footage. I suppose, from the producers’ perspective, it didn’t fit the narrative they were trying to create around us. The age gap, along with the fact that he lived in a different country, were key elements of the story they were building—adding a bit of jeopardy and drama for the audience.
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The infamous dinner parties were always full of drama—on and off camera. For an hour-long episode, we would film for an entire day. It started with a drinks mixer, followed by a two-hour break before the main event. The drinks were always flowing, which definitely helped loosen up my fellow cast members, amplifying everyone’s emotions. My most memorable moment was, of course, the last dinner party, where the producers encouraged me to speak my mind. I went all in, questioning people’s motives and their true feelings about their relationships. It made for great TV, and to this day, I stand by what I said—I was voicing what everyone watching was already thinking. I’d love to see the footage that didn’t make the cut, as there was a lot more said that never made it to air! You have to remember, this was a pressure cooker environment, and anyone could boil over at any moment—and many did.
As a reality TV first-timer, I went into the experience with my eyes open, but I had no real idea of what I was getting myself into. I was fortunate that my journey was positive, enjoyable, and for a time, I got what I wanted. That’s not always the case for others, though. I believe you get back what you put in, and it’s crucial to make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. The reality of reality TV is that it feels like your truth when you’re in it, but once it’s over and filtered through someone else’s lens, is it still reality? That’s the question.
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LIFI24 brings a sold-out talk on “How is TV distorting our reality? to Leeds Playhouse on 4th October.
